It isn't really ironic, don't you think?

Travis Koval is many things. A good friend, an aspiring film-maker, 2007 May Employee of the Month at Office Max, and according to girlfriend Amanda Love, a ton of snugglebear fun (and that's not an insult to his weight. It's not a literal ton because snugglebear fun cannot be measured by a metric scale).

Most of all though, as Celebrity Jeopardy Sean Connery would say, Travis is not a therapist of the English language. Don't try to misuse the word "ironic" around him when the word you really meant to use was "coincidence". Travis is a badge wearing member of the irony police.

So as a gift to Travis, I present updated lyrics to Alanis Morissette's hit single, "Ironic" and a link to the video so we can all sing along without misusing the word ironic.



An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
fromaheartattackcausedbytheexcitementofthewinninglottoticketwhich-
heboughttobetterhislife
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
whichisyourfavoritedrinkbecauseyouhatethetasteofinsects
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
okaythat'sactuallyironicfromthegovernor'sviewpoint
Isn't it ironic ... don't you think
Chorus

It's like rain on your wedding day
onlyifyouprayedforrainandbelieveinweddingdaysuperstitions
It's a free ride when you've already paid
ifyoupaidtowalk
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
notenoughinformation
Who would've thought ... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...'
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think
notreallybecauseitwouldbeironicifhewasafraidtoflysothereforehedrove-everywherebutonedayaplanecrashedonhimandhedied
Repeat Chorus


Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

It's a traffic jam when you're already late
that'sjustbadluck
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
irony!
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
intherightcircumstancesthismightbeironic
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
ifyouintroducedthemanofyourdreamstohisbeautifulwifebeforethey-weremarriedbecauseyouwantedtoimpresshim
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...
Repeat Chorus


Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out


Now sing along!

Captain 'Merica

Marvel's E-I-C Joe Quesada recently apologized for a panel of art in Captain America #602 which depicted an anti-tax protest with a sign reading "Teabag the libs before they teabag you!" The apology came on the heels of Fox News picking up the story with commentators describing it as "a chorus of critics who noticed the apparent jab at the Tea Party movement and who accused Marvel of making supervillains out of patriotic Americans.”

I really wanted to take some time to state the obvious. The sign is inappropriate and should have never made final print. This has nothing to do with politics but because the sign refers to a sexual act. I think the mistake is more or less an innocent one and shouldn't cost anyone their job. Marvel did the right thing by issuing an apology and scrubbing the art for all future editions.

Fox News has absolutely no grounds to object to the comic. Their stating that Tea Party Activists are being made into supervillians is laughable. The activists in the issue represented a political climate and were not the antagonist of the issue. The hypocricy here is that the sign in question was taken from an actual Tea Party protest! Fox News is actually chiding Marvel for accurately portraying an anti-tax protest.

Fox News also noted the Falcon's (an african-american character) dialogue where he told Captain America he would not be able to infiltrate a crowd of "angry white folks". Is this a disingenuous portrayal of an anti-tax party and, as Fox News describes them, the "patriotic Americans" that attend them?


What I suspect is the root of this problem is actually Fox News' view of who comic books are written for. I believe that the anger Fox News generated by this issue of Captain America is because they still believe comics are written for children and they fear kids will be indoctrinated by whatever liberal ideology they think is in them. Comics are not written just for children anymore. Fox News is guilty of ignorance of the medium as a whole, an ignorance shared by unfortunately much of this country. Until comic books are viewed as a quality story telling medium and not just a genre for kids, the industry will be hamstrung by those that don't understand it.

Because I have to stay awake during my midnight shift, I present to you...
5 Comics I'm Looking Forward To This Week, With Haikus!

Titles in alphabetical order. And don't hate on me if I failed to make a proper haiku.

Batman and Robin #7
No more Philip Tan
How we miss Mr. Quitely
Stewart will suffice


Fantastic Four #575
Mole Man returneth
Hickman makes FF good again
Great jumping on point


GI Joe Cobra II #1
First series was great
for classic Joe fans or not
Everyone must read

Punisher #13
Frank Castle is dead
Franken-Castle is brilliant
Yay for bold stories


Unknown Soldier #16
Real-world issues told
through classic DC title
Haunting war stories



Also looking forward to:
Amazing Spider-Man #619 - Catching up with the whole Brand New Day stuff so I probably won't get to this for awhile.
Avengers Initiative #32 - I Don't read this title but I'm on board for the whole Seige thing and as Dark Wolverine proved last week, big things can happen in the peripheral titles.
Chew #8
Daredevil #504
Detective Comics #861 - I unfortunately missed out on the new direction but this looks like a good jumping on point.
New Avengers #61 - I'm on Team Bucky.
Northlanders #24
Sword #21
Walking Dead #69

Quick Hits On The Big Game

1. For me and everyone else on the Wisconsin/Minnesota border, this is the biggest game of a generation. Both teams are good enough to be considered Super Bowl contenders so a divisional game is going to be big regardless. It's on Monday night so even more people will participate in the craziness. Oh, and the whole FAVREAGEDDON thing adds just a little bit of spice too.

2. Brett Favre is among the best players of all-time and is arguably the most enjoyable athlete to watch of any sport. I'm a Packer fan first and will be rooting for my home state team, but that doesn't mean I'll be rooting against Favre.

3. The funniest anti-Favre piece was the "We'll always remember you, Brent".

4. What's lost in the whole Favre vs. Green Bay hysteria is that this game may be remembered as Aaron Rodgers' statement game even more so than Favre. Sure, Favre wants to stick it to TedThompson and the Pack. But Aaron Rodgers just might be one of the next great QBs of the post Favre generation. And if he is? Rogers needs this game to prove that Green Bay was right to stand by him. Rodgers has a point to prove too with this game.

5. Anything but a close game will be disappointing.

My Entertainment Queue

Reading:
Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze
It's actually a Diamond Anniversary Edition of Doc Savage so it also has Doc Savage: The Land of Terror, which has dinosaurs. My first foray into 30's era pulps.

The List:
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
Sleeper Season 2 by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips
Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone by that really rich woman

Watching:
The Wire season 5
I also got Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 1 from the library and was really disappointed in the first two episodes. Man alive is this stuff lame. Travis assured me that it does get much better, but it might take a couple of seasons, which is disheartening.

The List:
State Of Play
The Office season 5
Arrested Development

Listening:
the iFanboy.com boys started a sister site/podcast called murmur.com, which is a catch-all pop culture website. The latest podcast has a nice little conversation on reality TV.

For the last few months or so my default for music has been either Liz Phair or Nick Cave based on my mood, which is like choosing between beef jerky or jelly beans every day for dinner.

Best Cover, 9/30/09 Unkown Soldier #12